Friday, November 5, 2010

more perspective

I'm reading through the Imperfect Prose blogs from this week. There are stories about babies and family, about the changing of the seasons, about an inner realisation of deep spiritual truth.

Meanwhile, I am resisting the urge to keep checking my work email, where the bad news seems to keep coming. Mostly. There's a bit of good news in there too, but the bad news overwhelms. For the last 24 hours, every time a new email popped into my inbox, a feeling of doom overtook me. When I opened the email and it didn't introduce a new controversy, I let out my breath. When it introduced more stress, I replied quickly so that I could move on.

Then yesterday I was reminded that instead of focusing on how work conflict affects me, I should look for ways to be a light in the lives of others. Surely there is a reason they are acting this way and they could use some tender-loving-kindness. But then I wrote yet another harsh email reply - because I thought that perhaps by getting it all out in the open we wouldn't prolong the feeling of doom.

I have seen people give up their lives for work, I have friends who walk through 23 hours and 55 minutes of each day in perpetual tension - the remaining five minutes are full of just enough laughter to keep going. I know that the vision of importance in what we are doing can feel like it outshadows the awful people we too easily become.

The stresses are there, and I do believe in what I'm doing so want to do a good job. But need to keep things in perspective. So for today I will go back to reading stories of real women and men, most of whom are very different from me, but with concerns of their own, and their reminders of the beauty in everyday life.

4 comments:

Leslie said...

Kati, I so appreciated you taking the time to comment on my blog post. And I appreciate even more the knowledge that miles away, both in geography and experience, we can share a common thread of understanding. It's so easy to feel alone and overwhelmed in difficult circumstances, and it's such a comfort to know that a sister in another land is nodding her head in empathy. And from what you've written here, there have been many fires for you to put out at work! That's exhausting stuff. May you have grace for this, as well as time to "rest and feel normal."

TALON said...

It's really hard to find that balance in life between the serious and the absurd...but we need to keep trying because at the end of the day, it's nice to feel that laughter is not only a gift, but a necessity.

I hope the stress eases for you soon.

Linda said...

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time right now, and glad that you are encouraged by reading what others are experiencing. I think that is really what this blogging is all about.
I pray that all will work out well for you.

Southern Gal said...

Thank you for the sweet comment! The situation I was experiencing was like none I had ever gone through before. Your words encouraged me.

Now I hope work calms down and you get to travel as planned.

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