A brief tribute to lovely people I know.
My lifestyle breeds selfishness. From where a lot of my friends stand, watching me from afar, countries away, they only see the sacrifices I make. They see that I move around a lot and don't have a home, and I miss out on family celebrations and the like. They might think this makes me a selfless person.
If only it were so. The truth is, that the big things I've given up have granted me free reign to allow myself everything I might want in terms of the little things. My employer encourages it, too: they like being able to hold on to their employees for as long as possible so they make sure we get our holidays and comfortable hotel rooms.
I am well aware of this fact and keep telling myself to not get sucked in by the sense that I deserve any and all comfort for myself that I might want. But the truth is that I probably do depend on those little self-indulgences in order to keep going at what is in fact a very stressful work and life style.
And I've become horridly awful at being a giving person. I forget most people's birthdays and anniversaries and don't think about Christmas cards until it's too late to bother. I write prayer lists to pray for people I love and then forget to pray. I occasionally brainstorm creative gifts I can order on Amazon to send to people but never actually get to it. I don't give food to people I pass on the streets or cook meals for friends who are sick. It's a big deal if I postpone a meal or stay a little longer at the breakfast table to keep a colleague company!
So this self-absorbed blog is actually intended as a tribute to my lovely friends who I saw this past weekend, who reminded me that my life is not normal. Having a heart is closer to normal. I spent time with people who actually arranged their schedules around my convenience, who picked me up and dropped me off and stopped everything to spend time together. And not only were they kind to me, but I saw them being kind to other people, both strangers and other friends. They didn't base all decisions around themselves.
I want to learn from you, my friends. A little bit goes a long way.