Monday, May 9, 2011

sunsets and symptoms

Watch this space, for I may soon be giving up my Nile Sunset View, cashing it in for a suite overlooking the historical architecture of the neighbourhood. They would have given me a my 'medina junior suite' today, but it would have two single beds. I'm holding out for the king-sized bed.

I woke up this day feeling shaky and appetite-less. I wonder if it's psychosomatic, because a colleague yesterday gave me a little lecture that could be summed up as follows: "If you have any symptoms of post-traumatic-stress now, it will only get worse." She went on to tell some rather shocking stories from her own experience which made me feel petty and pitiful at best. But I think her point was still valid: I'm coming out of some seriously crazy and stressful years, and if I find a way to slow down and normalise my life, little by little, I can expect the symptoms of the last few years' stresses to bubble to the surface. They will emerge because they can, because I give them time and space to do so.

So after she said this, I decided to wake up this morning with stress symptoms. I don't think the symptoms would really move that fast, though, and maybe the whole thing is just a great reminder that our bodies really do follow our minds. Or it's a great reminder that I need to take this slowing-down thing seriously.

In response to the fluttery tummy feeling, I just walked to McDonalds and ate a Big Mac, Fries and Milkshake. It helped, but only a little. In fact, the horn-infested fast-moving rush hour traffic I navigated to get there may have cancelled out any comfort-food benefits on my system. But this I will say, the fries were fresh and may just have been my best McD's fries ever.

Anyway, random post, I know, but I miss my blog so thought I'd stop by with my thoughts for the day. And writing always puts things in perspective: the act of typing words-to-blog has definitely helped the tummy situation.


Tammy@Fear Not said...

I love these thoughts...and I've noticed when I stopped ignoring stress, the symptoms do come. Maybe it's because we give our bodies and mind "permission" to recgonize the reality of what we've experienced so we can truly heal. This too shall pass. :) And I love comfort, salty fries or some chips-n-salsa.

happygirl said...

Oh Kati, I hope you feel better soon. I can't imagine your stressful life. You are so kind when I speak of mine, but I really am humbled by your life and the work you do. I don't know if it helps to know you are being prayed for and thought of often, but there it is. Hugs my friend and stay well.

alittlebitograce said...

*hugs* My counsellor recommended that when my body begins to have a trauma reaction to thank my body for looking out for me and then to acknowledge that I'm safe now. Does that make sense? After some very hurtful and yet rather minor in the grand scheme of things, I ended up with PTSD. I feel stupid even saying that. However, this leaves me with a bit of understanding for what you're experiencing. I am praying for you!

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